TWITTER RACIST JAILED FOR CALLING FOOTBALLER A ‘BUM FACE’

In a turbulent day at the Thames Magistrates Court in London, racist Twitter user Enoch Jowell was handed down a six-month custodial sentence for repeatedly calling Chelsea defender, Ashley Cole, a ‘bum face’.

Jowell, a sheet metal-worker from West Bromwich, ‘tweeted’ Mr Cole on more than twenty occasions calling him a ‘bum face.’ Mr Cole is understood to have been so distraught by the campaign of harassment; he was barely able to commit any marital infidelities during this time.

Lord Justice Curmutheonley-Stein  described Jowell’s actions as “a disgusting outburst of racist vitriol”. He added: “you have clearly and with due calculation, sought to undermine Mr Cole’s confidence with your use of such slurs, which were undoubtedly of a racial dimension.”

Jowell was unavailable for comment, but colleagues at the sheet-metal plant in West Bromwich where he was formerly employed, spoke at length about Mr Jowell’s character.

“We always suspected he was a violent racist,” one colleague said, removing his flat cap as a sign of respect to Cole, “he’s always eating white bread, drinks white coffee whilst he wears a white shirt – it’s too obvious.”

Mr Cole, speaking after the hearing, was in a triumphant mood:

 “I have always said that calling me a bum face, or a twat face, or a dick face or anything else to do with my face, is just plain racist,” he said, as he groped his way through a bevy of underage girls, “Just stick to talking about football – unless you say I’m shit, in which case you’re probably racist.”