Tuesday, 24 June 2014


Thousands of dyslexic music fans were left bitterly disappointed after an online mix-up led them to purchase tickets for the wrong festival. Instead of buying tickets to the three day Somerset-based music festival ‘Glastonbury’, thousands of fans accidentally purchased tickets to the festival celebrating the mid-1980s Soviet policy of Glasnost hosted in Stockton, ‘Glasnostbury’.

“We were pleasantly surprised that so many young people today were interested in Gorbachev’s policy of openness and transparency”, said Glasnostbury spokesman Vladimir Burokratsky, lighting a cigar with a cluster of recently declassified documents, “Naturally, we were disappointed when we discovered they were actually trying to buy Glastonbury tickets. I don’t blame them though, Dolly Parton is marvellous.”

Disgruntled dyslexic music fans expressed their anguish on Twitter, with @Mucislover tweeting “Why was a mixup allowed to happne?”, and @Fesitvlagoer adding “I wnat my money bakc!”

One punter however, may have had tickets to both festivals from the off; as it was discovered that  former Soviet heavyweight supremo Mihkail Gorbachev was not only booked to speak at Glasnostbury, but was also reportedly heard discussing “getting off his face to Skrillex.” 

Mikhail loves it when the bass drops.