Thursday, 22 May 2014


In another misguided attempt at making a populist statement to resonate with the masses, Prince Charles has evoked the spectre of fascism yet again by comparing the military-coup in Thailand to Nazi Germany. Following his comparison of Putin’s Russia with Nazi Germany earlier in the week, which caused widespread forehead-slapping across the world, Charlie suffered another bout of ill-deserved confidence and voiced his opinions on the military-coup in Thailand.

“We think it’s just a phase he’s going through,” said Times hack, Felicity Crackersnatch, “His staff say he’s comparing everything to Nazi Germany at the moment, everything. Sainsbury’s, flocks of skylarks, Tracker bars, lorries, you name it, Charlie thinks it’s like Nazi Germany.”

The military government in Thailand are said to be mortified and bewildered with the Prince of Wales’ comparison. A military spokesman - recently returned to base following a day’s solid coup-ing - expressed his frustration:

“We are nothing like Nazi Germany, I don’t know what he’s talking about,” said Private Pakatak, “He’s the one who’s like Nazi Germany… look at him.”

The Coalition government have remained silent on the Prince of Wales’ trans-continental diplomatic stink bombs, busy instead with losing the European MP elections to UKIP; though one government official did comment privately on the latest gaffe.

“What did he say? Is he voting UKIP as well?” said unnamed government insider, David Cameron, “He fucking told me he wouldn’t do that.” 

Prince Charles hears something he believes could be Nazi Germany.

Sunday, 18 May 2014


As the country bathes in glorious sunshine for the second day in a row, millions of Brits are suddenly wishing they lived somewhere else. As the nation’s parks and gardens filled with throngs of sun-deprived people, it wasn’t long before many were dreaming of what life would be like living somewhere hot.

“Oh I just wish it was like this every day,” said secretary from Essex, Amy Ames, wearing a pair of Gucci sunglasses and an elastic band, “It’s just like being in Magaluf. Except this morning I didn’t wake up covered in vomit and a few mobile phone salesmen from Dagenham, you know what I mean!”

The roads were particularly perilous, with frequent reports of drivers veering off the road after starring endlessly at the blue sky, dreamily fantasizing of life in a hot country. In Barking, a bus driver is to be disciplined after admitting dreaming about the south of France whilst driving the number 25 bus into the store window of the local Boots. Passengers also reported that the driver was listening to “summery music, like reggae and that…”

Kevin heard property in Greece was really cheap...