Thursday, 19 July 2012


The magic world’s latest phenomenon, Dynamo, was arrested at Bishopsgate Police Station in London on Tuesday. Dynamo was charged under section 23 of the Rascal Act, for the crime of impregnating women without their knowledge or consent.

The Bradford born magician has wowed street audiences the world over with his understated personality and unmatched ability to place large objects inside small places without anyone’s knowledge or consent. However, in the last few weeks several female members of the public have come forward saying that Dynamo has in fact impregnated them, without their knowledge or consent.
One victim described how she met Dynamo on the street as he was performing a magic trick for members of the public.

“He had just finished pulling a playing card out of this woman’s eye and then he turned to me,” said the victim. She explained how Dynamo fixed his gaze upon her and placed his hands near her stomach.

“He had his hands flat and they were near my stomach, then he just kept them there and stared at me.”

It was then that Dynamo began asking whether she could feel his hands getting hot; and to her astonishment, his hands were smouldering. Then quick as a flash, Dynamo retracted his hands, turned and walked away, glancing over his shoulder to say:

“You’re preggers love.”

A day later the victim discovered she was indeed pregnant - much to the horror of her husband. She immediately reported the case to the Police and was shocked to discover that she was but one of many similar cases. Dynamo is alleged to have repeated this pernicious trick several times at various locations across the country. Disconcertingly, he is said to have performed the trick a number of times in Newcastle - which has created a unique set of problems, as one local Police sergeant conceded:

“Girls are pretty loose round here,” the sergeant explained, “they would have trouble isolating one particular pregnancy that took place without their knowledge, so it makes it pretty difficult for us.”

It is no doubt that Dynamo’s apprehension by the Police represents a huge decrease in the threat faced by members of the public. However the case remains open, as residents in Newcastle have been asked to stay vigilant over the next few years for the arrival of toddlers with suspiciously large blue-eyes - which may lead to further charges being brought against Dynamo.

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