AMERICAN PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION ROUND-UP:

·         Secret film of Romney punching a child is released on left-wing website – Romney is said to have decided that the child ‘was never going to vote for me’ and so dispatched him from the scene with a swift jab to the face. It is believed that the release of this video will make little difference to his rating in the polls, as after the previous videoed gaffe that wrote-off half the American public, it is hard for anything to be worse.

·         Clinton hits on Michelle Obama at the Democratic National Convention – His statement in his nomination speech that he wanted to vote for someone who ‘had the good sense to marry Michelle Obama’ is considered to be the most witnessed attempt at marital infidelity since Marilyn Monroe courted JFK on his birthday. Hilary Clinton is reported to be disappointed by the lack of retaliatory advances coming her way from Barack Obama.

He's at it again...