MAN SMOKING CIGARETTE ON STATION PLATFORM BRANDED "THE BIGGEST REBEL OF ALL TIME"
A man who regularly lights up a morning cigarette on the platform of Devons Road DLR station has been branded "the biggest rebel of all time". The man’s brazen disregard for the nation's smoking laws is said to be the most strident example of anti-establishmentarianism since the time Jeremy Corbyn mooned Michael Heseltine in Westminster Hall.
“He just doesn’t care,” said fellow commuter, Janet Fuxley, “Most of us though he was vaping, and it’s an open platform so who cares. But when we realised he was actually smoking , we all thought, woah, this guy is a fucking rebel.”
The man is said to be an office worker at a bank or law firm in Canary Wharf. It is unclear what has made this otherwise functioning member of society become such a dangerous outlaw, but local law enforcement has already issued posters offering a reward for information about him.
“I know that it’s wrong to do it, but oh my god,” continued a dough eyed Fuxley, “I love a rebel! He’s like James Dean or Brian Harvey from East-17. Enigmatic and irresistible.”
|An artist's rendition of the smoking man of Devons Road.|