Wednesday, 29 August 2012

Zeitlies Vox-Pop

Following reports that GCSE results have worsened for the first time ever, Zeitlies took to the streets to ascertain the views of British teenagers about the state of their education:

ZL: So, with the number of people obtaining A*-C Grades at GCSE falling for the first time ever, how would you respond to the suggestion that today’s teenagers are not as academic as their predecessors?

Teenager: Academic? You fag. No wonder you talk like a bender with a haircut like that.

ZL: I see. What (if any) improvements would you say the education system would benefit from?

Teenager: Oi John! Come over here and look at this bender’s haircut…

ZL: Does it concern you that British teenagers, when compared to their counterparts in India or China, are portrayed as being vacuous, self-obsessed and interested in nothing other than football and celebrity culture?

Teenager: Seriously mate, get a haircut. Then tell me about those Chinese Pakis. John! This guy said he fancies Pakis from China…

ZL: Lastly, as the next generation set to take the reins of power, what would you say the future holds?

Teenager: You're a twat blud. I'm off to the tanning shop…

Terry is set to be the star of his sixth-form's Oxbridge Access programme.

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