NEW ZEALAND? NO! NOT YOU AS WELL…

An OECD report on rising income inequality across the developed world has confirmed what many observers with at least a piecemeal understanding of life have thought all along: in countries like Britain and the US income distribution is now about as equal as it was during the years leading up to Peasant Revolt of 1381. But the report has also shocked many by revealing that some perennial ‘good guy’ countries are also coming under the spell of neo-liberalism, abandoning things like progressive taxation and knitwear, in favour of corporate subsidies and latex thongs. One such country is New Zealand - shocking Lord of the Rings lovers the world over, and delighting the shit out of chuckling Aussies.

“When I saw the country’s name on the list I thought, oh no, New Zealand? Not you as well!” said centre-left blogger, Barb Ityewat, “Where the fuck are those of us that believe in an egalitarian society meant to live? Canada has become like the US, the Dutch keep acting crazy, Sweden is too cold and also now right-wing, and now New Zealand as well? Damnit!”

The government in Auckland responded to the report by claiming that though the findings were concerning, the New Zealand public should still count their blessings that they weren’t living in Australia under Tony Abbott.

Prices of New Zealand’s exports have remained robust in spite of the negative press, though interestingly, demand for New Zealand lamb has sky-rocketed in Qatar, netting huge profits for Halal-ready exporters. One meat exporter from Dunedin said it was because “the Qataris love anything that is the product of an unequal system. They really get off on that.”

Surprising fans of Reaganomics.