Filthy Deliveries – The ZEITlies Cricket Blog

FIVE TEST CRICKET CAREERS THAT WERE ANNOYINGLY CUT SHORT…

1.       Donald Bradman

The Don, the Big Man, Bradders (ok I made that nickname up, but it sounds good), is a cricketer that needs no introduction, but “bloke with nearly a hundred average” isn’t a bad place to start. Widely regarded as the greatest batsmen to play the game, he has an average that is the benchmark for all modern cricketers. But thanks to a lack of matches and a bloody world war, the little man from Cootamundra only played 52 tests. This is a fact that will constantly blight the Don’s otherwise astonishing batting average, but in a way which is utterly beyond his control!

2.       Vinod Kambli

It’s quite possible that many young cricket fans today won’t even know Vinod Kambli, but when he burst on to the scene against England in 1993, many were sure he was the next big thing. He was the other bloke who got more runs than Tendulkar in “that partnership” from school cricket, and in his third test match, he notched up a double hundred. He managed to repeat the feart in the very next game, but just thirteen matches later and Kambli’s test career was over in amidst a miasma of indiscipline and misapplication, leaving many Indian fans wondering what could have been…

3.       Marcus Trescothick

Ok, Trescothick played 76 test matches and ended up with a respectable average of over 43. But following a series of mental health issues and supposed marital problems (everyone knows the story about his wife…), the wonderfully explosive left-hander was forced into an early retirement from international cricket,  prematurely depriving the world of one of England’s most attractive batsman to watch in recent times.

4.       Greame Pollock

There are a number of Proteas players whose careers were truncated by the sporting boycott of apartheid South Africa, but Greame Pollock is arguably the greatest. He played the last of his 28 test matches against Australia in 1970, in a series that handed the Aussies their heaviest ever defeat. Pollock notched up a masterful 270 at Kingsmead, partnered by an equally explosive Barry Richards. The Proteas whitewashed the Aussies in the last series they would play in for over twenty years, and Pollock was reduced to playing county cricket - and the occasional rebel tour - for the rest of his career.

5.       Mohammed Amir

Even after the ban expires he’s still got years left in those legs, but boy was he plucked from the scene at his absolute prime. Part of the reason why the match fixing allegations in 2010 were so shocking, is that they concerned a young cricketer whose talent and ability had enthralled the cricket world. Here was an 18 year old kid who was swinging the ball with Wasim Akramian precision at ninety miles an hour, and he was only going to get better. Five years later and he is still to play another game…

6.       Jonathan Trott

Only kidding.

His career was too long, As was every one of his innings.

Filthy Deliveries – The ZEITlies Cricket Blog

4 THINGS ABOUT CRICKET THIS WEEK THAT MAKE YOU FEEL A BIT SAD 

1.       New Zealand are probably better at ODIs than they are at Tests – Following a rip-roaring effort in the world cup and some strong performances in their recent home test series, hopes were high for the ever-confident Kiwis as they headed to England for a two test ‘series’. Such hopes seemed to be well founded when on day one of the first test match at Lord’s, New Zealand’s bowlers had the hosts at 30-4. However, they soon found a way to carve out a losing position and thanks to some mercurial batting by Ben Stokes, the match was lost. Now the second test is evenly poised, and New Zealand may be heading home winless after promising so much before the start of the series…

2.       Pakistan might have trouble attracting more visitors – The cricketing world rejoiced with the return of international cricket in Pakistan, with the mighty Zimbabwe agreeing to play in the first international matches since the attack on the Sri Lankan players in 2009. The series comprised of a few ODIs and after the first two matches all seemed to be well. What was all the paranoia about? Why can’t people just chill-out yeah? Then there was a suicide bombing in Lahore. Oh dear. The series will continue but you fancy that this probably wasn’t the cricketing tourist-ad the PCB was hoping for…

3.       We won’t see Shiv Chanderpaul again – He’s finally been dropped. After four hundred and seven years in the West Indian batting line-up, front-facing, war-paint wearing run-machine Shiv Chanderpaul has finally been dropped from the Windies squad after a long run of poor form. Old friend Brian Lara spoke out at what he thought was ill-treatment of his pal, but the master batsman’s protestations fell on deaf ears as Shiv was told to put the war paint away for good.

4.       Graham Gooch is no longer England’s highest Test run scorer – Well done to Alistair Cook for breaking Gooch’s record but one feels that now he is no longer the record holder, who will remember the Great Graham Gooch? Masterful player of spin, scorer of the highest test score by an Englishman, a reformer and professional as captain; owner of one of the finest moustaches in modern test cricket. Though he was one of the finest English batsman and captains of his generation, his legacy and his runs have long been forgotten by kids of today, who know the Ashes 2005 team and little else. At least when he was the top dog, you had to respect Goochie. Now, who will?

Graham Gooch was delighted for Alistair Cook.

Filthy Deliveries – The ZEITlies Cricket Blog

9 THINGS ABOUT TEST CRICKET IN 2015 THAT MAKE YOU GO HMMM…

1.       West Indies have a bowling attack again

Ok sure, it might not be Holding, Roberts, Marshall and Garner, but the current West Indies bowling line-up looks to have more promise than in recent times. The veteran Jerome Taylor has always been capable of match winning performances; and backed up by the burly speedster Shannon Gabriel, and the lanky fast-medium pacer Jason Holder, the trio form an impressive seam battery. The Windies do lack an obvious first choice spinner, but Benn, Permaul and even Narine (?) offer interesting options.

Gabriel watches an England batsman leave the crease for the last time.

2.       New Zealand might have their best test side ever

The World Cup showcased New Zealand’s limited overs talents to the wider world, but they have been making quiet progress over the last twelve months. The impressive home series win in 2014 against a beleaguered India side showed exactly what the Kiwis could do, with Captain McCullum hitting a typically belligerent treble-hundred. They head to England next week for the start of a two test series and they will be feeling confident. They comprehensively humiliated England in the World Cup and with the English stuttering to a drawn series with the West Indies in their last outing, the Kiwis will be looking to take advantage. A good run out would seem them rise to their highest test ranking ever.

3.       Loads of Ashes series have made the Aussies the best side in the World

Once upon a time there used to be a marquee test series fought between two cricketing behemoths. Every few years one would come around and there would be so much anticipation, by the time the first ball was bowled, the cricketing world was literally shredded with excitement. Now however, Ashes series happen once every two months, so no one really cares when Australia beat England again. In being presented with yet another opportunity to do so, the Aussies may score the points needed to topple South Africa as number one test side in the World. Whoop di doo.

Steve Smith offers his thanks to the ECB.

4.       Seriously, Ashes again though…..?

By the time this summer’s Ashes series is concluded, Australia and England will have played each other in 15 tests in two years. This is more than three times more frequently than they have ever played each other in tests since the late 70s. The England-Australia has become, wait for it, a more frequent date in the international test calendar than India-Sri Lanka! In fact, no other test teams have met each other more frequently than the English and the Aussies over the last two years.

England learn that they have a test series against someone other than Australia,

5.       India could be on the rise

After an absolutely miserable twelve months under MS Dhoni, India’s test team, under new captain Virat Kohli could be in for a slightly more pleasurable ride. Back to back home series against Sri Lanka and South Africa could see them secure their first test win in nine outings climb their way out of seventh spot in the test rankings. Also a strong performance in the world cup, on the back of some promising signs in the test series against Australia has given the young side a measure of deserved confidence.

Hoping for a bit less of this in 2015.

6.       Should someone do something about the Kookaburra ball….?

In the first test of the series between Bangladesh and Pakistan recently, the hosts responded to a Pakistan first innings lead of just-under three hundred by posting a second innings total of 555 for 6. The match was drawn and the innings scores read: 332, 628 and 555. In the final innings on the fifth day, Bangladesh managed to pass 300 without losing their first wicket, all against quality bowling like Junaid Khan, Wahab Riaz and Mohammed Hafeez. This match used the Kookaburra ball, as games between these sides tend to. Conversely, in the final test of the West Indies- England series, 18 wickets fell on the second day. Now sure, the pitches were different and the teams were different, but the ball was different too. The Dukes ball used by England and the West Indies gives the bowlers much more to work with, as the recent low-scoring test showed. In an age where batsmen have so much advantage, would it be the worst thing in the world to make all teams use a ball that gave bowlers just a tinie tiny bit….?

The seam bowler's dream...

7.       Four day tests?

In some respects, the recent proposal of a four day test as made by the ECB seemed little more than the latest display of their obsession with fours, having also proposed a 40 over world cup. But, the more you consider the proposition the more appealing it appears to be. It will reduce the pressure on groundsmen prepare pitches that will hold together for five days, hopefully reducing the need to make lifeless batting roads for the first few days. It will also make it easier for the crucial sessions of a test match to be decided in front of large crowds, rather than Monday finishes played out in front of a few ground staff and job seeker’s allowance claimants. Not something we’ll see this year, but in future, who knows…

8.       Bangladesh need to win a test match

The recent draw against Pakistan showed that the Bangladeshi batting had a great deal more resilience than line-ups in the past, but many still expect much more of a nation that has now had fifteen years of test cricket under its belt, particularly with associate nations like Ireland, Scotland and Afghanistan clambering for test acceptance. Though they have registered a series win recently against Zimbabwe, fans are desperate for a ‘big’ win. Bangladesh has one further test against Pakistan, before two back to back home series against India and South Africa. Though the opposition will be 

tough, this year presents their best opportunity to register a big head-turning win in years.

9.       Impact players from the IPL go on to become test captain…

It was meant to be nothing more than a gawdy hit and giggle in front of deliriously misinformed people, which would never last more than a season. Eight years on and it’s turned into a serious competition, fought for tooth and nail by the world’s best. Unsurprisingly, it has become a global stage for showcasing new talent from across the world. Not just T20 talent, but actual cricketing talent. The proof is in the number of IPL impact players who have gone on to become test heavyweights; players who when they began their IPL careers were considered little more than bashers. Eight years on, people’s opinions of players like AB de Villiers, Angelo Matthews, Virat Kohli and Brendon McCullum are very different to what they were when these big hitters were snapped up by IPL franchises.

Not looking to defend the ball to mid-off.

Filthy Deliveries – The ZEITlies Cricket Blog

3 REASONS WHY SHAPOOR ZADRAN IS COOLER THAN YOU

1.       He’s international

Shapoor is from Afghanistan, but like many of his generation, he fled his war-torn country and took refuge in neighbouring Pakistan. It was here that the baddest man on the planet learned to play cricket. But wait! There’s more… Zadran made his List-A debut in the Sri Lankan Premier Limited Overs competition for a club side called the Badureliya Cricket Club, who play their home games at a ground called the Surrey Village Cricket Ground in Maggona. Afghanistan, Pakistan, Sri Lanka, Surrey. International.

2.       He models himself on Shoaib Akhtar

Learning his cricket in a country with a rich tradition of quality fast bowling, Shapoor had plenty of idols to model his game on. But rather than look to the likes of Imran Khan, Wasim Akram or Waqar Younis, pace bowlers whose craft was finessed with precision and skill, Shapoor trained his eyes one man and one man only - the beast that was Shoaib Akthar. This was for one simple reason: he wanted to look awesome whilst bowling fucking fast. That meant growing your hair, beefing up in the gym and developing a stare which said “I am your Hell”.

3.       His son looks exactly like him

Nothing is more satisfying to a male human than spawning an off-spring which is a miniature cartoon of himself. Shapoor has managed just that. His six year old son is said to be a spitting image of his father, with flowing locks of black hair and a penchant for Shah Rukh Khan inspired fashion.

Zadran on his way to proving it only takes one man to stop a train.

Filthy Deliveries – The ZEITlies Cricket Blog

5 REASONS WHY THE 2015 WORLD CUP IS THE SAME AS THE 2011 WORLD CUP

1.       It’s all about the batting

Many thought the size of the sub-continental stadiums, coupled with  local groundsmen that often moonlight as road layers, meant that the batting paradise of the 2011 World Cup was unlikely to be repeated in the bouncy, pacey, jumpy all together more leary environment of Australia and New Zealand. As the first phase of the competition nears completion, after twenty or so scores of over 300 and two scores of over 400, the 2011 competition seems like it was held on a minefield at Sabina Park.

The ICC are looking to curb the size of modern bats.

2.       Ireland aren’t that minnow

In 2011 when the Irish scalped the English many thought it was a flash in the pan. After all, what could a team like Ireland do, whose best players are kidnapped to play for nasty old England as soon as they become good. Four years later, after notching up an impressive win against the West Indies and showing a darn sight more fight than their erstwhile masters, the Irish have once again showed, they aren’t that minnow after all.

3.       Pitches are pancake like at worst

Notwithstanding English batsmen’s ability to make good wickets look like horror shows, the tracks in New Zealand and in particular, Australia, have been as flat as they were in the 2011 tournament in the sub-continent. Sadly, it seems that the days of sporty wickets in ODIs are largely gone – regardless of what Peter Moores said after the New Zealand game.

4.       England lose to Bangladesh

Never again would the embarrassment of the 2011 exit to Bangladesh be repeated, proclaimed a mournful and repentant ECB as the last competition drew to a close. Four years, two re-scheduled Ashes tours, and six-months of unbroken ODI cricket later, the English are once again licking their wounds after another embarrassing knock-out to Bangladesh. A leopard may change its spots, but England will always get tonked in World Cups.

A regular feature of the modern day World Cup.

5.       India are right there again…

Fine, they won it in 2011 because it was in their backyard. Who couldn’t win a World Cup if it was in their own backyard? I scored 300 against my brother and mum in my own backyard, and I was only 11. Sure they had the best team and looked the most dominant side, but it’s because it was in their own conditions, right? Well, with maximum points after the first five games of the 2015 tournament, it seems like they might be able to do it in foreign conditions too…   

5 REASONS WHY THE 2015 WORLD CUP IS DIFFERENT TO THE 2011 WORLD CUP

1.       Scoring 300 doesn’t mean you’re hard anymore…

When India lifted the trophy in Mumbai 2011, the losing Sri Lankan captain, Kumar Sangakkara, ever graceful in defeat, suggested even a total of 300 wasn’t safe from batting line-up like the India’s, evoking the idea of 300 being a mythical total that only the very best could attain. You had to be hard to get 300. Not anymore pal, 300 means you can play. 400 means you’re hard.

2.       New fucking Zealand!

Aside from assuming the role of obligatory beneficiary to South Africa’s choking in 2011, New Zealand were largely absent from the last competition. This time however, with a captain jacked up on Maxi-Muscle, impressive bowlers and fervent support from the home crowd, New Zealand look like world beaters.

This time they mean buznuss in the crikut...

3.       Left-arm seamers are hot shit

In 2011 it seemed to be the tournament of the slow dobbler and the rolling dabbler, who would eat up deliveries in the middle overs and suck the life out of an opposing batting side. As a welcome change, 2015 has seen the resurgence of left arm seamers steaming in from over the wicket and generating that often elusive dimension in modern cricket, pace. Starc and Johnson are potent for a strong Aussie side, whereas the giant Irfan forms a dangerous partnership with Rahat Ali for Pakistan. Alistair Cook must be thanking his lucky stars that he isn’t there.

4.       Sachin Tendulkar isn’t there

For the first time since 1987, Sachin Tendulkar isn’t at the World Cup. In 2011, he had a middling tournament, notching an imperious hundred against South Africa in the group stages and 85 to help India past Pakistan in the semis. But when his team lifted the trophy in the final, it was declared to be a win for him. This time, the little master is nowhere to be seen and one would hope that any victorious Indian team would refrain from wheeling him out. Funnily enough, that weird bald man who paints himself green and orange with the word ‘Tendulkar’ on his chest is still there.

He's still there... obviously.

5.       We now know what ‘keys to success’ are…

They brought us myriad innovations with Packer’s World Series Cricket, including the very notion of coloured clothing that is now so unmistakable when thinking of ODI cricket today. Now the Aussies are at it again, giving us illuminated stumps from the Big Bash, sexy real time graphical things called ‘hitzones’ and a whole bunch of weird statistical crap called ‘keys to success’, which may as well be called, ‘fucking obvious statistics’…