METEOROLOGISTS DEMAND ‘SCARIER NAMES’ FOR HURRICANES IN ORDER TO SUFFICIENTLY WARN PUBLIC

As hurricane season swirls its way into the Caribbean and the Western seaboard of Mexico, meteorologists are demanding that hurricanes are given scarier names in order to sufficiently warn the public of the terror they actually bring.

“Right now we got Patricia,” said Fox News weatherman, Chet Thunder, “Who the heck is scared of anyone or anything called Patricia. You can’t expect the public to take that seriously. I mean look what happened with Katrina? You name a storm after a figure skater and no one gives a shit!”

A concerned group of weathermen and women have gathered across social media to collate a list of hurricane names they felt would be of a sufficiently threatening nature such that the public would likely take them seriously. This list includes, names like “Vladimir”, “Adolf”, “Ivan” and “Darth Vader”, though the name hurricane “Robin Thicke” was excluded from the list, with many feeling such a name would only be threatening to women who enjoyed consensual sex.

“Just imagine the impact it would have on the news if the anchor was yelling Adolf is coming!” said Thunder, “It’s exactly the kind of weather communication we need at Fox News.”

It doesn't even look like a 'Patricia'.