CONSECUTIVE DAYS OF SUNSHINE CAUSE BRITS TO WISH THEY LIVED SOMEWHERE ELSE

As the country bathes in glorious sunshine for the second day in a row, millions of Brits are suddenly wishing they lived somewhere else. As the nation’s parks and gardens filled with throngs of sun-deprived people, it wasn’t long before many were dreaming of what life would be like living somewhere hot.

“Oh I just wish it was like this every day,” said secretary from Essex, Amy Ames, wearing a pair of Gucci sunglasses and an elastic band, “It’s just like being in Magaluf. Except this morning I didn’t wake up covered in vomit and a few mobile phone salesmen from Dagenham, you know what I mean!”

The roads were particularly perilous, with frequent reports of drivers veering off the road after starring endlessly at the blue sky, dreamily fantasizing of life in a hot country. In Barking, a bus driver is to be disciplined after admitting dreaming about the south of France whilst driving the number 25 bus into the store window of the local Boots. Passengers also reported that the driver was listening to “summery music, like reggae and that…”

Kevin heard property in Greece was really cheap...